I get to do this because I am privileged.

I think it’s important to be clear about that from the get-go. I recognize that I have this experience available to me because I am young, I have (at least some) wealth and I have received an education. And I recognize that two of those things are largely influenced by the fact that I’m White and middle-class. I think conversations of power and privilege are absolutely crucial, even if sometimes uncomfortable, and particularly so in development work. I want to make it clear that I don’t think I am on some grand journey to change or to save the world. What I do think is that Africa will change me. And will open my eyes to different ways of knowing, and being, and doing. So much so that I don’t even really know what to expect yet. And perhaps that’s a good thing. I am actively working to recognize what I am bringing in to this experience, and what others are bringing in as well. I hope to be open and flexible, and recognize that yes, some-many- aspects of this journey are going to make me uncomfortable and are going to push my boundaries as they currently exist. This thought reminds me of a mantra we practiced last week during yoga, which is to embrace the uncomfortable. After all, that is what yoga is all about. Finding those uncomfortable positions and stretching yourself, bending yourself, and in the long run changing yourself by embracing it. That is what I hope to do- and I’ll be better for it.As the mission of the Global Livingston Institute instructs us to do, we must engage these kinds of experiences by first listening, then thinking, and only after critically engaging in the first two steps, acting. I think this is a difficult concept for many people raised in the Western world, and it is a skill I hope to improve upon during my time in Africa.I want to end this blog with another thought from Maya Angelou (who, if you can't tell, is one of my favorite feminists of all time and a true gift to the world):

Image credit 

(Image via: Tumblr)

Today’s blog post has been brought to you by the word: ANXIETY. 

I work hard to be a cool, calm and collected human- but it is just that: work. I am a highly anxious- neurotic some might say- person, but usually it works for me. I come from two of the world’s best parents, whose anxiety, I am not ashamed to say, I have inherited. Did you know anxiety was inherited? Because my brother and I are living proof. But like I said, for the most part my anxiety works for me. And, if who my parents have become in their lives is any indication of how their anxiety worked for them in the long run, then I know I’ll be okay. My anxiety causes me to always be early, be highly organized and structured, write everything down, make lists and checklists… basically everything you would expect from an extremely Type A person. This doesn’t work for a lot of people, and in fact, annoys a lot of people. Which I totally understand. I annoy myself sometimes. But it’s who I am and I’ve come to terms with it, and tried to find ways to make it work. 

HOWEVER. When it comes to anxiety and this trip to Africa- it is five weeks away but it is already keeping me up at night. I’m making lists, and other lists, and checking blogs and pinterest for tips and packing hacks, and while I’m in the middle of one thing I’ll have another thought: wait. Did I put that on the list? Oh crap I meant to add that. Sometimes by the time I actually get to my list on my phone or computer the thought has gone (probably because I was half asleep when I had it) and I’ll have to wrack my brain to try to remember. In the end, it is usually something fairly trivial or uncomplicated that did not need to interrupt my REM cycle-  contact lenses? Did you really need to wake up and write contact lenses down? Like I would leave without them?? Hello. You can’t even SEE two feet in front of you without them.  And even if I could make it out the door without them actually in my eyeballs,  contact lenses have surely made it on one of at least several lists and could not possibly be forgotten (right?!). This would be one of those instances where I am annoying myself. But I digress...

Anxiety is good when it can move you forward, but it can also be paralyzing and interrupt your (okay my) much needed beauty sleep. The trick is to find that balance between calm and anxious. Between action and overwhelming stagnation. And ultimately between fear and taking a leap. I want to be a leap taker. I’ve always wanted to be a leap taker. The first hurdle is not letting my anxiety trip me before I even get there. 

Which is why I like to be reminded... 

              Photo from RH Reality Check

Autoimmune and Live Vaccines: What to Do??   

Here’s a big question: Should you or should you not get vaccinated with live vaccines before going to a developing country if you have an autoimmune disease? All the literature in the world pretty much says “No”. It’s contraindicated and could result in some negative consequences, all of which are pretty scary. But not getting vaccinated sounds scary, too.

To decide for myself, I met with my rheumatologist and a travel doctor at my university, and after going over my individual health history, my travel plans, and checking CDC recommendations, etc. they both told me that ultimately it is my decision to make. I struggled it with it, I really did. Do I risk getting really sick from the vaccination itself, or do I risk going into a country with known diseases having not been vaccinated? Being that I am in graduate school for public health, I was leaning more toward vaccination. And given that I am going to be in East Africa for 2 1/2 months, not getting vaccinated sounded terrifying. Yellow Fever was not something I wanted to play around with. Also given that I am not on any steroid medications or any immunosuppressants, I eventually opted to get vaccinated. I received one live vaccine (yellow fever), a flu vaccine, a Hepatitis A vaccine, and a typhoid vaccine. You can also take typhoid in pill form if you choose.

Here’s what the CDC has to say about the typhoid vaccine, including pill vs. shot.

On that note, CDC has tons of great information related to all vaccines you might be thinking about, depending on the country to which you are going.

When I went in for my vaccines, I received 4 vaccinations at once, including one live vaccination for Yellow Fever. My arms were incredibly sore for about two days. The site where the Yellow Fever vaccine was injected was sore and had a fairly large red mark which then turned into a bruise for about 2.5-3 weeks. The biggest reaction I had to the vaccines was just feeling kind of “blah” for a few days. Just not myself- really low energy. After about three days I got a pretty bad headache which eventually turned into a migraine, which lasted for about 2-3 days. But all in all, I didn’t experience any severe reaction to any of the vaccines I received. 

Please note: this is NOT a sweeping recommendation to get vaccinated!!! (sorry for yelling) As I said, it’s something you have to discuss at length with your doctor(s) and consider your personal history, your current health, your travel plans, etc. It ended up being the right decision for me, but that won’t always be the case. My recommendation? Talk to your doctor. Talk to all the doctors. Get second and third opinions, do research on the internet and then know that you are the one who has to advocate for your own care. You have to make your own decision and stick to it. I had two wonderful doctors and a very supportive family, boyfriend, and best friend to help guide me. But in the end, I was the one who had to make the call, and I was the one sitting in that chair in the vaccine clinic. But I know I made the right decision for myself in the end, and it was all worth it. (Especially if the typhoid inoculation actually protects me from typhoid!)

Oh yeah, you might want to know where I’m going and why…

Oops. Forgot this little detail in my first post. Okay, so next month on May 15th my roommate and amazing friend (Tavia) and I will depart for Uganda. Tavia and I are both MPH students at the Colorado School of Public Health, through Colorado State University, and are also both concentrating in Global Health and Health Disparities. We will be taking a class for 3 weeks in Uganda and Rwanda with about ten other people through CU Denver in international development in East Africa. Following that class, we will both be staying in Uganda to complete our Practicum hours for our MPH degrees.

To do this, we will be working with the Global Livingston Institute to conduct research, and we will also be traveling to rural and urban health clinics to provide support and to learn from their operations. We are hoping to have our hours complete in mid July, and at that point we’re going to take off on our own for about two and a half weeks and experience Africa. We haven’t figured out that itinerary yet completely (okay at all), but we definitely want to visit Tanzania, Zambia and Zimbabwe.

For more information about the CU Denver course, click here 

First Post!

I have never written a blog before, which is perhaps the most generic way one could start out writing a blog, but there you go. That’s how I'm starting. I do like to write, but typically I’m writing to myself with the understanding that no one besides me will ever read it (except of course for academic writing- but let’s not even go there right now). So this will be a learning experience for me as I go.I’m writing this blog for a couple of reasons. One: I am traveling to East Africa next month and wanted to find a way to keep my family and friends updated on my travels for the two and a half months I’ll be gone. Internet won’t always be reliable, and I wanted to provide a way for my people to hear my “voice”- at least in some capacity. Two: As a person with an autoimmune disease, I wanted to share my international travel experiences so that others who are facing similar issues may have some additional insight to inform decisions relating to travel- particularly travel to developing countries. Although the official diagnosis hasn’t been delivered, the two most likely options are either Lupus or Mixed Connective Tissue Disease. I’m not going to go too much into my medical history and experiences, simply because that’s not the purpose of this blog. And I know that there are ton of great resources out there that are specifically designed for that purpose. What I will say is that an official diagnosis has been a long time in the making, and while any autoimmune disease is scary, I will be relieved when I can actually put a name to the problems I’ve had with my health.


Because this will be related to the travel aspect, I will share my most prominent and recent symptoms of concern. I tend to have a lot of joint pain, particularly in my hands, knees, and elbows. I feel pretty tired a lot of the time, but don't know if that’s a function of my autoimmune issues, graduate school, or most likely a combination of both. I experience headaches- sometimes migraines- on a fairly regular basis. Most of the time I can control it with ibuprofen or something similar. My hair has been steadily thinning over the last 8 months or so (although I think I may have found a combination of vitamins, minerals, and shampoo that has been helping) and my eyes tend to be dry most of the time. Most recently, my skin has been reacting pretty negatively to the sun in the form of a red rash that almost resembles a lace-like pattern- particularly on my arms. I also experience shortness of breath pretty quickly, and feel like I haven’t completed recovered from a bout of pneumonia I experienced back in late November/early December. Along with that, I tend to get sick a lot. Lots of colds and infections that sometimes take a while to go away completely. Those are the big ones.


I have to say, I hate listing it all out like that, especially right off the bat at the beginning of this blog. It makes me feel incredibly vulnerable for one thing. But more than that, I know in the grand scheme of things, things could be a whole lot worse for my health, and are a whole lot worse for a lot of people. But I think it’s important toward my second goal of sharing my experiences with others who face similar problems. Oh, along those same lines, the only drug I’m on right now (besides a whole host of supplements- I swear it takes ten minutes just to get them all down) is Plaquenil. I’ve been on it for about 6 months, and can’t really say one way or the other if it’s doing much. But that’s what I’m sticking with for now.


So that's a little background on the purpose of the blog and my current health situation just to get this off the ground!